Boy oh boy. 8 hours of fudging around trying to get php to work on my ancient W2K3 box, I finally succeeded.
I kept getting a FastCGI error. No matter what I did, it always failed. FastCGI 1.5 with PHP 5.5.3
If you are running into this problem, Here is the solution.
Don't install PHP 5.5 -- it won't work no matter what you do. There is no known documentation on it as far as I can tell (y'all can correct me if I am wrong). I just happened to run across some random post somewhere about someone with the same problem. After 8 hours of pulling my hair out and basically rebuilding my OS from the ground up, I decided to try downgrading one version of PHP and like magic. it all fell into place.
This is my random post on it. If I help one person solve the issue, then I have succeeded in life .. enjoy.