If the server does not support .htaccess then why are you asking for a compatable replacment? No htaccess support means just that. So no amount of tinkering with the .htaccess file is going to do anything if the server does not process it.
Not many use lighttpd because the dolphin server requirements specify apache. And .htaccess support is one of the reasons why.
It's runs faster because it has less features.
The workaround is shutting off permalinks support. Advance settings in your dolphin admin.
This is a very old post but I have to respond to this because practically everything you state here is completely wrong.
.htaccess was developed as an easy way for hosting companies to allow special rules and have that rules file inside the actual website files for access through stuff like cPanel or Plesk. Boonex is probably used mostly on shared hosting servers, so for most people this makes sense.
Buy Boonex is NOT tied to Apache because of this or any other reason. Web servers are web servers and regular expressions are regular expressions. Boonex specifies Apache simply because of native support for .php which Windows boxes do not support out of the box, and Apache is the default web server install on most flavors of Linux. Every other Linux web server ever created does support .php, and the Boonex devs simply didnt bother to translate the rewrite rules, which only took me about 30 minutes to do and are posted here:
http://www.boonex.com/forums/#topic/lighttpd-rewrite-rules.htm
As I said, regular expressions are regular expressions. Apache just has a different syntax requirement than Lighttpd or nginx does. For instance, quotes are required in lighttpd around the paths.
Thats actually a bit irritating that they did not take the time to do this. We have a premium platform here, and you cannot use a premium server such as lighttpd or nginx out of the box. I wouldnt be surprised if many large sites do not transition to Boonex for this reason alone, not to mention quite a few others I could name. Lighttpd is a far better hosting platform than Apache is for dedicated servers hosting 1 or 2 high volume sites.